Here’s a collection of some short Adult Jokes for you!

1. I didn’t sleep very good last night. So this morning I put Monster energy drinks in my coffee… I was half way to work when I realized I forgot my car.

2. DO NOT READ THE NEXT SENTENCE.
You little rebel, I like you.

3. It’s funny how after an argument is over, you start to think about more clever shit you could have said.

4. Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn’t appreciate it when you call “shotgun” before boarding a plane.

5. Boy asked the teacher a question…
“can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!

6. Election and Erection are spelled almost exactly the same. They both mean the same thing too. A dick rising to power.

7. What’s the point in blurring out the middle finger on television? Like, oh you fooled me, what’s behind that blur? An umbrella? An elephant?

8. If a girl ever pulls a knife out on you during an argument, pull out some bread and mayo. Her woman instincts will kick in and she’ll make you a sandwich.

9. I was bored so I said “Wow, that’s a weird place to put a piano.” You wouldn’t believe how many people looked around for a piano. I was in an elevator.

10. Me- “What mouse walks on 2 feet?”
Friend- “I don’t know”
Me- “Mickey Mouse, what duck walks on 2 feet?”
Friend- “Donald Duck?”
Me- “No, all ducks dipshit”
Friend- “Screw you”

Source: http://www.kickasshumor.com